Bible Based Marriage

Bible Based MarriageThere is no such thing as a perfect marriage, for there are no perfect people. Let alone finding two perfect people to create the perfect marriage. It has been said in the world that marriage is like “two ticks trying to figure out which one is the dog”- a sad, but true, observation of the world. The idea of getting married to get your own needs met is contrary to “Biblical Marriage”, of meeting each other’s needs. One being inward focused and the other being outward focused. True Biblical marriage is based upon creating a union of two souls – one flesh- and to be a servant to your partner. In its truest Biblical form, marriage is the creation of a union by which both parties blend into each other. Firmly creating an environment that to take care of your spouse first – is taking care of yourself. The world’s way is “I must take care of me, before I can take care of you.” This is not found in scripture. We will see that when we get married, we release control of ourselves to our spouse- and we are then bound by God to put them before ourselves.

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“For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife. The two will become one flesh.”  (Ephesians 5:31)

Bible Based Marriage

> The Marriage Origin Story:

“The Yahweh God said, “It isn’t good for the man to live alone. I need to make a suitable partner for him…. So the LORD God made him fall into a deep sleep, and he took out one of the man’s ribs. Then after closing the man’s side, the LORD made a woman out of the rib. The LORD God brought her to the man, and the man exclaimed, “Here is someone like me! She is part of my body, my own flesh and bones. She came from me, a man. So I will name her Woman!” That’s why a man will leave his own father and mother. He marries a woman, and the two of them become like one person.”  (Genesis 2:18+21-24)

Bible Based Marriage

> Man Was Created In The Image Of God To Bring Him Glory

“And God said, Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the heavens, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creepers creeping on the earth. And God created man in His image; in the image of God He created him. He created them male and female.” (Genesis 1:26-27)

Bible Based Marriage

> Women Were Created In The Image Of Man To Bring Him Glory

“A man should not cover his head, because he exists as God’s image and glory. But the woman is man’s glory. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; and man was not created for woman, but woman for man.” (1 Corinthians 11:7-9)

*I must point out that Eve was the final act and pinnacle of God’s physical creation. Creation was not complete until Eve was made. More so, God made Adam wait for her until after showing him the rest of creation.  To better help him understand her importance, just as God created Adam in His image. God does the same thing to provide the same gift to Adam, by creating from his flesh Eve. As man was the beginning of humanity, then woman was the completion of it.

This is why there is no such thing as Gay Marriage in the eyes of God. Man cannot become one flesh with man, as man was created for God’s glory. A man and woman can become one flesh, as she was made for his glory. From the substance of man, the beauty of the woman has been made. In Marriage, she returns once again to man to replace that which was taken to make her. Finding her completion of unity once again with the man from which she was taken. Becoming one flesh yet again, completing the spiritual cycle.

“He answered, “Haven’t you read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?’ So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart.” (Matthew 19:4-6)

So, God removed Adam’s rib to create Eve, taking from man to make woman. Then once again, puts them back together through marriage, restoring the flesh back as being of one flesh. God has said, let no man try to tear apart this union of flesh that He has completed as whole and perfect through marriage. It is impossible to separate this unity of spirit through divorce.

Bible Based Marriage

> The Reason For Marriage

“God gave them his blessing and said: Have a lot of children! Fill the earth with people and bring it under your control. Rule over the fish in the ocean, the birds in the sky, and every animal on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28)

“Did he not make you one, although he had the residue of the Spirit? Why one? He sought godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.” (Malachi 2:15)

Bible Based Marriage

The Blessing & Responsibility Of Having A Wife

Finding A Godly Wife Is A Blessing From God.

“Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh.” (Proverbs 18:22)

“You may inherit all you own from your parents, but a sensible wife is a gift from the LORD.” (Proverbs 19:14)

“Enjoy life with your beloved wife during all the days of your fleeting life that God has given you on earth during all your fleeting days; for that is your reward in life and in your burdensome work on earth.”  (Ecclesiastes 9:9)

Bible Based Marriage

Husband Honor Your Wife

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19)

“You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)

“Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself…” (Ephesians 5:33a)

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. He did this to make the church holy by cleansing it, washing it using water along with spoken words. Then he could present it to himself as a glorious church, without any kind of stain or wrinkle-holy and without faults. So husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. No one ever hated his own body. Instead, he feeds and takes care of it, as Christ takes care of the church.” (Ephesians 5:25-29)

Bible Based Marriage

How Did Christ Give Himself For The Church And For What Reason?

“For to this you were called, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving an example for you to follow in his steps. He committed no sin nor was deceit found in his mouth. When he was maligned, he did not answer back; when he suffered, he threatened no retaliation, but committed himself to God who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we may cease from sinning and live for righteousness. By his wounds you were healed. For you were going astray like sheep but now you have turned back to the shepherd and guardian of your souls.” (1 Peter 2:21-25)

*Jesus did it to protect and guard the souls of mankind, in the same way the husband must shepherd his wife and serve her out of sacrificial love. Just as Jesus displayed in the gospels, men are to be a servant, not to be served. God created a help mate, not a slave. In this understanding, the man is called to outperform their wives efforts to support life, their marriage, and family. Never forgetting that men must spiritually lead their families in the path of worshiping God and righteousness.

Bible Based Marriage

The Wife’s Responsibility For Her Husband

“But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3)

“So I want younger women to marry, raise children, and manage a household, in order to give the adversary no opportunity to vilify us.” (1 Timothy 5:14)

“In this way they will teach young women to show love to their husbands and children, to use good judgment, and to be morally pure. Also, tell them to teach young women to be homemakers, to be kind, and to place themselves under their husbands’ authority. Then no one can speak evil of God’s word.” (Titus 2:4-5)

“… and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33b)

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18)

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24)

“For you were going astray like sheep but now you have turned back to the shepherd and guardian of your souls… In the same way, wives, be subject to your own husbands. Then, even if some are disobedient to the word, they will be won over without a word by the way you live, when they see your pure and reverent conduct. Let your beauty not be external – the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes – but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in God’s sight. For in the same way the holy women who hoped in God long ago adorned themselves by being subject to their husbands, like Sarah who obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You become her children when you do what is good and have no fear in doing so.” (1 Peter 2:25 – 1 Peter 3:1-6)

Bible Based Marriage

Wives must submit to their husbands as guardians of their souls- being created as a helpmate to fulfill God’s calling upon the earth.

Bible Based Marriage

Two Concerns Being Married: God & Your Spouse

“So I don’t want you to have any concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, that is, about how he can please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about earthly things, that is, about how he can please his wife. His attention is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the Lord’s things so that she may be holy in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about earthly things, that is, about how she can please her husband.”  (1 Corinthians 7:32-34)

The Hit List Review

We find that the Hit List we used in the “Brotherly Love” Bible Study is also the perfect blueprint for conduct and purposeful love in marriage:

  1. “Do not seek your own good, but the good of the other person.” (1 Corinthians 10:24)
  2. “… each counting others better than himself; each of you not just looking to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others.” (Philippians 2:3b-4)
  3. “In love of the brothers be tenderly affectionate to one another; in honor preferring one another;” (Romans 12:10)
  4. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so you will fulfill the Law of Christ.”   (Galatians 6:2)
  5. “See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.” (1 Thessalonians 5:15)
  6. “and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)
  7. “but through love be servants to one another.” (Galatians 5:13)
  8. “Instead whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of all.” (Mark 10:43-44)
  9. “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.” (1 John 3:16)

Bible Based Marriage

Quick Review of What Biblical Love Truly Is:

*Hint: It has less to do with your feelings and more to do with your commitment and actions. “Romantic Love” is a side benefit of a happy, healthy Marriage!

“Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will be done away with. Where there are various languages, they will cease. Where there is knowledge, it will be done away with.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Overlook their faults and focus on their strengths.

“You can see the speck in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the log in your own eye. How can you say, “My friend, let me take the speck out of your eye,” when you don’t see the log in your own eye? You’re nothing but show-offs! First, take the log out of your own eye. Then you can see how to take the speck out of your friend’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5)

Fix your issues to a reasonable position before you go to bed. (or Don’t Sleep!)

“Be angry without sinning. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the devil any opportunity to work.” (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Bible Based Marriage

My Tips For A Long, Happy Marriage That Can Weather The Storms.

“Two people will not walk together unless they have agreed to do so.” (Amos 3:3)

*We must be on the same page and in agreement for our goals and the focus of our marriage – not two ships floating in the ocean doing their own thing until its expedient.

  • Your spouse cannot provide what only God can. Don’t put them in that position.
  • Pray together with each other every night.
  • Do a daily devotional together every day or night.
  • Say “I Love You” every chance you get.
  • Ask for permission, even if you don’t have to.
  • Prove your love by sacrificing your desires for theirs.
  • Become a partner to their dreams.
  • Never argue with or correct your spouse in front of other people.
  • Never share your problems with anyone but a minister or counselor.
  • Never publicly share anything that could disparage your spouse in the eyes of others. You can’t bring your spouse down without doing it to yourself also.
  • Overlook an offense, but tackle your problems.
  • Never let your children become your identity. You will still be one flesh long after they move out. Never forget that.
  • Always be a unified parenting front, having each other’s back.
  • Never expect lasting physical intimacy if you don’t provide spiritual and emotional intimacy.
  • Respect your spouse’s privacy.
  • Forgive your spouse like you want God to forgive you- for this is exactly how God will deal with you and your failures. See: Matthew 7:1-2
  • Confess your faults to each other. See: James 5:16

Bible Based Marriage

~ Sex In Marriage ~

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.” (Hebrews 13:4)

“But because of immoralities, each man should have relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband. A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. It is not the wife who has the rights to her own body, but the husband. In the same way, it is not the husband who has the rights to his own body, but the wife. Do not deprive each other, except by mutual agreement for a specified time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then resume your relationship, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)       *For a Biblical Guide To Sex, Please Read Song of Solomon

Bible Based Marriage


Marriage is created to be a lifelong commitment!

“So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart.” (Matthew 19:6)

“I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and the one who is guilty of violence,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “Pay attention to your conscience, and do not be unfaithful.”  (Malachi 2:16)

Jesus On Divorce

“They said, “Moses allowed a certificate of divorce to be written, and to divorce her.” But Jesus said to them, “For your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will join to his wife, and the two will become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” In the house, his disciples asked him again about the same matter. He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife, and marries another, commits adultery against her. If a woman herself divorces her husband, and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:4-12)

“It was also said, ‘Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorce,’ but I tell you that whoever puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32)

Bible Based Marriage

Permissible Reasons To Remarry In The Bible

Your Spouse Dies

“Don’t you realize, brothers and sisters, that laws have power over people only as long as they are alive? (I’m speaking to people who are familiar with Moses’ Teachings.) For example, a married woman is bound by law to her husband as long as he is alive. But if her husband dies, that marriage law is no longer in effect for her. So if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she will be called an adulterer. But if her husband dies, she is free from this law, so she is not committing adultery if she marries another man.” (Romans 7:1-3)

Yet, You Must Marry Only A Christian!

 “A married woman must remain with her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if the man is a Christian.” (1 Corinthians 7:39)

Your Spouse Committed Adultery

“They asked him, “Why then did Moses command us to give her a certificate of divorce, and divorce her?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:7-9)

The Next One Needs Further Study, Yet left it included for further discussion.

*If you were both unbelievers when you got married, and one becomes a Christian, then the unbeliever decides to divorce the Christian

“But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife not leave her husband (but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife. But to the rest I—not the Lord—say, if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is content to live with him, let him not leave her. The woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he is content to live with her, let her not leave her husband. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbeliever departs, let there be separation. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Corinthians 7:10-16)

Bible Based Marriage

RECAP: Marriage is not easy. It exposes every weakness and strength you have. Yet, the benefits and blessings outweigh the price that is paid. The main responsibility is on the man. The man must initiate the marriage and the woman is called by God to respond to it. The man is the leader and the woman is being led and cared for, spiritually and physically protected by the man. The man must outperform the wife, generally speaking, in all things concerning the marriage as he sets the example. Never should the man expect to see his wife do more then he himself is willing to do. The foundation of committed efforts to love through actions will lead to romantic love, if both parties are fully invested. Though, romantic love is not necessary to fulfill your commitment before God. Romantic love must never be looked upon as the point of marriage. It is the icing on the cake. You are to get married to devote your life to the other person’s wellbeing, not to get your needs met. All the “Hollywood movie style” romances are only truly found as the benefit of a godly, happy, and healthy marriage based upon Biblical principles. Then you earn the passion you are seeking.

*Husbands must die for their wives as Christ died for the Church. Wives must respect and honor their husbands as if he was the Lord Jesus himself.